Navigations are at the top.
bold italic underline link
Yeah pals! We have did it! Teacher gave us an overall comment that we improved and did well ya?! Im so happy! Im so happy that SHE has recognise our efforts and our potentials yeah? I guess I did well too! I felt confident in fact. Maybe due to the fact that many happenings were going on. Have been in gd terms with all of my classmates le..And Arthur have been very encouraging too! He was willing to help me implant the Q on him...so cool! He smiled to me during my speech too. I felt encouraged with those smiles too. He gave e same effects as karen. Cool! At e end of my speech...He even waved to me saying tt it was a gd job. heez! Yeah man...I love it! My hyper now cant get me settled down to work or revise man...aha! Guess I'll jus enjoy my nite then...slp early I guess...heez!
Chatted with Hui ying jus now. Haven been chatting with her so calmly for quite some time. I rmb she actually had a back against me during my bad patch too. O well...back to subject...She told me abt yisi... Someone who I haf cherish alot...Gaf alot to e frenship...She does appreciates me! She rmbs me! Im so touched! She always have her ex classmate photo n e neoprint we took. O man! Im soo touched...She's my gal man...I miz her!!!!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Whoo! Went to watch she's the man with jireh today. Going to watch again with vero this week after my presentation. Heez. It was really very funny! e whole theater was laughing v loudly too! aha...Its abt this gal who has this great passion for soccer. However her dream was dashed by her own boyfren. So she acted as her twin brother in his sch for 2 weeks when he's away who is having a soccer match against her boyfren's team. Well...it was cool. E ending was e most touching! She fell in love with her room mate. He's soo gd looking! Yeah. tts one of e pic n scene in e show...e pic is on my blog now..yeah man! I simply love e show! It's all abt her cool personality. I guess I wouldnt ever dare to turn myself into a man. Or rather act as one.Maybe my passion for my dream is not to e extend like her's yet. aha! Anyway, I like e ending. She found someone who likes her personality n not her appearance or what is she but who is she. Guess thats what I want too. I not only want e feeling. E love but also tt he loves my personality. I guess n believe relationship with strong love for each other's personality will go far. Cuz he has accepted whoever she is like. May it be rough or sensitive. Thats in her. Shldnt expect her to choose. My mum once thought she can change e bad personality of my father who is addicted to gambling, but she has failed. But still lucky she failed if not I wun haf e family Im having now. Well..For me... I guess I wun step into a relationship unless I meet him. E him tt loves me as much as my personality. Guys I mite be attracted mite not meet this...which means I wun go along with him. Liking is one thing. Relationship is another. I love being myself thou I mite miz days w/o a partner. But more efforts n energy will be taken up for one if it isnt e rite one. So I guess my principal stay. Im only luving e best~ aha!!! Best in a sense for me from god. And not best bcuz of his quality. yeah!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
It will be a week w/o them. My family...My brother!!! haiz.. Im sad...Im lonely...Im a zombie w/o them..They play an important part in my life. My brother always cast all my troubles & sadness away. So sad... So dull... Yeah, I shld party ya? I'll save tt when they return. Haf u ever experience having a younger brother or seen things like this? A baby brother in fact. It's totally different. E feeling is like having a child on ur own. U would love him lotz! I rmb once almst drop him when he is a yr or so... I was having low bp tt time...my vision blackout tt one min caused my bro's head knocked against the table. haiz...I cried n cried when my bro cried...It hurts so much. Hmm. Tue will be our grading for OCOM yeah? I rmb my speech was shit last week. I was v down. But I was back to my normal self at e sight of my bro. Out of no where, he came in to my room n hug me n called me 'jie jie'. Thats was when I cried out my heart & then I guess I felt alot alot better after all e crying n so on.I really hope tt this tue wud be well done n stable..whoo! so tired now...Only slept for 2 hrs since ytd..haiz...Cant slp...
Friday, May 26, 2006
Hey Gal, this entry is for u. Hope ya wun mind. Im jus concerned. I know u r glad tt I have a mother who has no prob with 'Generation gap' and tt she hears me out. However, I did have e same prob with u in e past. When I was struggling my feelings with a guy in a past, I did Q n felt hurt tt my mum wudnt understand of y I wud want to commit myself into a relationship. It goes for almost all gals at our age. It is bcuz of our character & personality which made our parents thinks tt we aren't suitable for a relationship. Yeah, Im sure u can fight tt statement back. But think twice. U did told me tt u was relieved tt a break off last yr didnt affect ur studies n Os.Yeah, tt means ya someone who is v serious in love & relationship. Of cuz tts ur strong pt in which ur partner mite be attracted to, but it can also be ur weakest pt. Im not pouring cold water here but there bound to be an end to all gd things my dear. What if...IF...u guys break off after 3 yrs relationship while ya having ur final exams in poly? U flunk it. So where's ur future? He wun feel sorry ya? Ur mum is juz merely protecting u. She might be over protective like my mum, but tt's her way of protecting her daughter from hurts I guess. Do u know when u r hurt, she is also hurt? She might not show it out, but it is deep in her. U can cont to like or love him but haf some self-control. It will do u gd! Gal... I'll be there for ya when ya confused. Im always there. Take care..cheers!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Today might be my most embarrasing moment I guess. Everything started off as per normal in e morning when I got up to prepare myself for sch. Eat bathe n change. However, I suddenly had a sudden sharp pain on my stomach. It was horrible. I couldnt stand it, but I tolerated. It was until my heart beat started racing very fast. My heart pumping seemed to hurt me too. In tt circumstances, I asked a young man whom might be a father himself if I could seat down as Im feeling giddy. Lucky tt I have sat down cuz my vision went blur once I was seated. I had cold sweat and I was overcome by e nausea feeling and e giddyness. I couldn't feel anything. I felt very uncomfortable. I called dad n he came rushing over back to admiralty mrt to pick me. Ya, cuz I took e same mrt back to admiralty. Being e fact tt I couldnt even see. How on earth m I supposed to move? Anyway.I thank god tt dad came to me n I had great frenz who were there comforting me spiritually. I guess it was my strong will tt brought me back to conscience cuz I tolerated e strong urge of vomiting too! Well..I felt e most fortunate daughter at e sight of my dad. HE's only my step dad. Yet, he's doing so much for me. Guess if there's a day my real father want me to choose either one. I wud choose my step dad. I want a dad who is everyday a dad to me n not a father who I call father once in a yr. In addition, one who goes thru e ups & downs in life. When I was in my dad's car. He called his boz to inform him. When I heard him say my daughter is not feelin well. Funny tt my heart was feeling so warmed. Hey man..I dun feel a single thing when my father said tt in e past. well.maybe tts what he deserve after being so heartless n ignorance.
Liling & Karen... Ur voice over e phone was more than enough to comfort me. Thou I was feeling so awlful, I felt blessed inside of me. Thanks so much!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Hey man! He lightened up my day today! Yeah...which he? oh god...sounds like I have a lot of HE...nono!!! He's my childhood fren...one whom we shared many wonderful memories. And e first guy whom I like in my entire life. He was my mum's student when he was pri 1. My um labelled him as her future son-in-law. aha. tts bcuz he's a wonderful boy. He's v outstanding in his studies & other qualities.drool!!! aha...Most import he cared to contact me when he saw me at canteen 1 today! heez..I was overjoyed to see him or hear from him too. I hope tt there will be more chance being with him. Days with him in e past was e best. Cool n innocent.However, My couz was there to destroy it. heez...nevertheless, he cant be bothered with her thou.heez!
Tml will be our trial presentation before our actual grading. Feeling really strezz...think I got to tk a time out with ah jie this week.or else I'll go mad...so tight up with everything man...
Sunday, May 21, 2006
hummp. In fact I have nv thought of possessing u... However.. Ya not my fren even.. You chose to forgo all e past with frenz ard n start a new go with ur new frenz in NP. Its true tt jireh said tt u will have quantity of frenz but u its hard for u to get quality frenz. Anyway, close file. I got over anger. It's e sadness tt I have to let go e frenship. But I was prepared tt this will happen thou cuz I know things wun end up too gd with u. Even as frenz.It's ur personality tt makes things this way.
Having presentation this tue. Hope it goes smooth thou... Can see all my members put in certain efforts esp liling ya... she did e most work I guess. Thanks. But...nvm. This week might be a rather bz n strez week thou. I saw the lecture notes for econs this week...It's damn thick n it seemed foreign stuffs to me. Graphs tt are so irregular..aha! And as for stats..I think it will be hard life too. sad...I've forgot some of my probablity liao. sian. Haiz. Recently having headaches...making me so uncomfortable man.hai!
Friday, May 19, 2006
My day ended with sadness & heart aches...Jireh told me abt e conversation he had with him. O yeah! He's rite e development tt made him not like to watch movie with ppl alone? O yeah...or is this jus an excuse or reason for not giving me a proper ans or is he jus running away from facts? He's timid...He's hopeless...Y wud I like a guy with no guts?! god... I've always thought tt my ideal guy wud be someone who is a real MAN.. but he's out of the range n pic...he is definately not one...but jus a chicken little small boy...he isnt matured to face these things.. E most childish way is to run away from it. I jus wanted to say feelings are fading. But now I guess I shldnt say it now... It will seemed as if Im just showing attitude. Things shldnt even start initially. I really dont wish to see u for e time being. Not even in sch. Thanks for visiting me in e hospital n tt wud be e end of everything. Whatever u mite have owned me have been repaid by tt visit at NUH when I was weak physically. Thanks for all of those care e nite before my op. I rmb u msg me telling me n holding me firm to e faith n confidence in jesus. I also thank u for brining me back to e faith in god. However, a fullstop will be what I wanna end with. I really cant tk it any longer with u hurting like a needle. Forget it. Since things has never meant to be mine, I wouldnt want it then. Let it go flying with e wind. ...
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Time flies particulary fast when we reach wedesday... Monday is the worst day to past thou... haiz! Hmm. This week has been quite relaxed thou cuz we had many free lessons...I was absent on wednesday... N then pon our OCOM lecture today...well...not feeling much guilt thou..aha! But I do hope tt my grp's presentation next tue will be smooth...seriously..haiz! Anyway... Hope tt I would spend my weekend wisely...Hope my stress wouldnt overcome me again..
Sunday, May 14, 2006
The priest said that we shld be happy that we have love. It's love which bring us to wonders in life.wow! Aha... It's just like having love n faith in god that brought us to the wonders things he has done for each one of us. It's also love that brings us to happiness, sadness n pain. Love it's a part of us. Thus, I felt ashamed when I heard tt from e priest. I act thought of not being someone w/o feelings so tt I wun be hurt. In fact, I was idiot & stupid to have those thoughts. If I m one w/o any feelings n so... I would be a failure I guess. Feelings spices up our life. It's jus how we handle it. Yeah.. I have been thinking abt him these few days. He's my one n only. A relationship tt lasted for a yr n half but ended due to a change of heart. This monrning as I was lying on bed... I thought of my sec 3 co camp with him.He was down with high fever tt day... I was v worried for him but he explained tt he's ok. However, he's condition could not be covered for long. His fever went up to abt 39 degree tt nite... I gaf him all water I can find. Hoping tt things will improve with water n panadol... He held my hands thru e nite when we slept. I could't slp well too. I had an auto alarm in me to wake up every hr to ensure myself tt he is alrite n tt his fever is going down. I changed a new small towel with cool water every hr to help his condition too. However...gd things doesnt last long. He changed his heart n mind before we started our yr for Olevels. Jireh said tt I m jus missing e feeling of being love. yeah...guess he's rite. He is always rite when it comes to analysing my feelings n things I mite have deny from admitting. However, I couldnt even find e feeling I had for him to anyone who came to my life. Is it tt special tt he's e only one I would feel this way? Or is it tt he's e only one I know I really loved. E rest who tried to have me were jus touched or graditute? m I someone who doesnt fall so easily? anyway... I guess god has a plan for me?..yup...I shld be confident in him n tt he will bring e special one to me again.....
Saturday, May 13, 2006
It has been hard for me since that day... I've put u my top piority or rather choice... It all began when u show how cool u was by not replying. I stirred up an excuse for u tt u are bz to e devil side of me. However, the lie can't be covered long. U told me e truth when I called to ask things regarding our notebk. Well.. I don't mind if ya ans was u are bz, but ur ans was? U had someone else as ur piority...Ur leader...One who coud give u mother love instead ya? Forget it. Then you saw me at e mrt startion 2 days later...I ignore u thou I smiled to myself when I first saw u when u were coming up. However, I didn't givu a damn when u came to me.Sorry. I really couldn't control myself..my emotions.My anger on u for taking me for granted gushed up to my nerves. I'm soo sorry for that hush attitude now as I thought thru my own actions.Well. I shldnt expect anything from u. Cuz I know clearly its jus e feelings to u tt is special to me n not thinking abt having a future for u. I love e past we have. Memories when we were feeding each other ice cream in swenstons or outside 7elevens. Haiz. Anyway... Sorry.
Alrite.. Anger fades when I thinks of e sweet memories with him. Not forgetting to write down gd frenz I have made in poly. I sooo happy n thankful to god for bringing Liling, karen n don to me. Sincerely hope tt these frenship will last.Heez! They are nice ppl! hope they feel e same for me too...heez...Cherish loads...made up my mind... ya e reason for my happiness!
Liling, thanks for being such a great fren! Hope tt our frenship will rule any other things! Hope ya share e same sentiments too! :)