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It rained heavily today and my tears fell as thou heavy clouds was in my eyes. My heart aches. I didnt know what to do. I tried my best to avoid everything I would want to avoid. I tried my best to reach there as late as possible, but I thought of asking nicole or yue er on how I shld I prepare myself. haiz. However, I still bang on things in which I wanted to avoid soo much. Well.. Fotunately, yue er & nicole came n dicuss with me. Being with nicole, reminded me of my very gd fren in e past thou she betrayed me at e end but bet nicole wont. aha.She's a nice gal.
I do hate myself at some pt of e day today. Last yr was a bad lecture for me. Why would I fell into HMEPL n now into something which Im allegy too? I shld have know that I couldnt drink milk, n y m I putting myself into these? That product doesnt suit me. Neither m I in e world of milk. I admit to e inferior side of me. I'll let go. Im tired. Studies, proj n family are enough for me to balance with. I wouldnt want to stir up more troubles for myself. I'll stand clear from now on.
I'm still unsure of e speed I need to keep on with the pace in life. What's my desired happiness? It's my life, what choices m I given.. Wo yao de xing fu.
You wouldnt understand my rainy days. You only know how to add salt to my wound. Dont come "questioning" me after whatever its done. Its useless. Let it be. I dont bother now n ever.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Beginning of the idea of e trip wasn't pleasant. I felt tt it was a burden more than a relaxation & enjoyable trip. However, I did enjoy myself there cuz there was my bro there.. We went to e orstrich farm where he ran all around e whole farm claiming tt he is scared but went running ard. Aha. He called e orstrich 'big bird'. Aha!!! Then in e evening, we took a speedy boat to a more quiet area in which we got to see "ying huo cong". Omg! It's so romantic... But not with family I guess... My bro was afraid cuz we got to wear e life jacket so he sat on my dad's lap w/o any motion. ha. Well.. How I wish I was with someone special sharing those wonderful moments with those small little insects tt gives off light. aha!
Juz as I was about to enjoy myself, my eye lid starting some pain & I felt pain. I was afraid thus didnt put on contact lens. Thus, it got worsened. I tolerated e whole day until I got back. I rushed to e doctor ALONE. Doctor told me infection n if it inflammed more severely, I got to go for a minor op. Haiz.. Y m I going for op again n again. haiz...
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Life in this world, or rather in the competitive singapore, is very tiring. There are many times in which we are forced to be two-sided and fake to get things done. Even though trying to defend urself from becoming one, it still tempt u cuz thats e only way to succeed in ur goals.
The most import to have a gd interpersonal Relationship is to repect. So this is what u called respect? Whatever.
Im exhausted.. Do hope tt somone is able to take over my asap. I need time to breathe, have time on my own and for studies.