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Saturday, July 21, 2007
A week of rushing...
4:01 PM

I have been rushing since last weekend till I think today & I belief it would still be on going till exams are over. Will it stop after exams? I wonder. With ITP & all right after exams there isn't any 'rest' time for me. haha... Anyway, I'm looking forward to it. At least I have "ah ma" (u know who u are? haha) with me during attachment. At least if I faint, she is there to call the ambulance for me. haha! Anyway, I think I will fail my french written test. Feeling so stressed up now. Im so scared I will fail my IS. That will be a nightmare to me. Got to really study hard for these last 2 weeks before the final written test. God. Help me!

Going Kaijun's 21st birthday party later. Hmm.. So fast... Thinking back. I got to know her when I was K1 or K2. Now...We are grown ups... haha! Seems like I just got to know her ytd n now Im going to celebrate her independance day. Haha! Hope everything is smooth for her in the future, esp in her career life.

I have agreed to Mdm Chan's request to ask me play for her dec recital. It will be held at Thomas Plaza. My kind of music piece. Emotional and character song. . Heard the demo & it wasn't those every sadding, it was more to a situation like reflashing back a lost love 10 yrs ago. So the degree of sadness isn't too deep, yet it will bring u to live in ur memory again. Im determined to master piece. Cuz while I was listening to the demo, my mind went wandering. Hmm.. She was so happy when I agreed. Cuz she was not confidence to persuade me but then this round it wasn't like the past few times. Though I might not have much confidence but my mum is supporting me to go for it. She told me after she saw the recital in june, she knew I can do better. haha...All mothers will think likewise. Their children are the best. haha. Anyway, it is helping me indirectly to feel more confident of myself playing, devoting my heart infront of numerous audience. I can!


Friday, July 13, 2007
tAnother report completed!!
9:23 PM

Lalalalalalalal...I have completed fms report! Hmm but somehow not as confident. Maybe because it was a laz minute. In the past, I have never do a laz minute work. Don't know why this term, Im rushing every single thing. I hate this kind of life. I must get back to my original life. To be prepared before hand so that I won't need to stay up till 4-5am to finish the report and force myself to wake up at 7 am to go to sch and submit. I curse and swear for my stupidity for being such a kind. I'm going to complete the ecd report asap. I can't stand all the shit I have to face every thur. ahaha! Anyway, haha...Hope to complete more work this week but Im damn sick now. Flu and cough is back. It's jus insufficient rest!



Monday, July 09, 2007
Loads of work to do...
8:37 AM

I have been stressed up since last week. Having know that econs report is due last fri, this thur there is ecd test & french written assignment. FMS report is also due this fri. Its so stressful! For me fms report, I dumped everything Auntie has taught me but it took me a long time to recap every single thing she taught me. haha! But that's only the new instruments part. What abt all the theory kind of questions... It's research n research. I can't imagine I need to do most of it myself but again, like what he said I know what I want that has to be done that's y I get so stressed and over demanding on my own performance. I shld take things one by one. Yes, Im really trying. Im also refraining myself from those anti-anxiety pills since last week.

I went on with Eugene and Veron on sat to celebrate my birthday. haha! Went to watch My wife is a gangster 3 by SHUQI with eugene! Omg! Shuqi has those qualities like a big woman in tt show. haha! So cool but still uncomparable to Maggie Q in Die Hard. Watched tt with veron in the midnite. Wahahaha...The sound system was gd! & yes, Maggie Q was impressively hot & has strong charistmatic. Had a great day with Eugene & Veron. He is going for his ns soon. haha. I'll see him in 2 years time. Hopefully a matured, fit & tanned one. haha!


Friday, July 06, 2007
06-07-89
11:13 PM

Before this day ends at 12 midnite, I have some thoughts to be penned down. Firstly, I appreciate all that my mum has done for me. Making the effort to buy a cake to surprise me. My dad opening my fav red wine to celebrate. My mum treating me to my favourite OASIS taiwan porridge. Secondly, I wanna thank Nicole. I felt your sincerity & the true wishes you have wished me today. Yes, I wanna be frenz with u forever too! I cherish our frenship more than any which there may be. haha! Thirdly, I thank all my crazy classmates, TF01. My gang of frenz. Jeron for sending his wishes in various ways on the dot, Monica for giving me a necklace, Douglas for the lunch treat & yes, hui xin, amanda, doreen and all of my classmates for their wishes. & yeah...Melissa, trudy, melvin n gang for singing a birthday song in the lecture hall. Thanks. All tt meant alot to me. It's the wishes and true thoughts that counts. THANKS so much!

In addition, thanks for the SK pendent. It's sweet. Thanks. I may not worth such gifts but I appreciate the thoughts of wishing me & remembering this significant date to me.

Most importantly, Kai Jun its your turn now! 25th July for your 21st birthday! I have not received the invitation card! Mdm Heng also asked me if I have recevied it. haha! Take care... Enjoy working in ABN AMBRO.


Thursday, July 05, 2007
Tml
9:00 PM

Tomorrow is my day but I don't look forward to it at this momrnt in time. There are lots that I don't want to face. There are many I want to run away from.

Sometimes whatever that has happened does not change the fact of its impact to the future. In fact, it wasn't what happnened that made me drift away but actually it has sparked off my true feelings after what had happened. It made me be more true to myself. No longer fake. Do be with who I want to be. Lead the life I want to lead. So in fact, it wasn't anyone's fault. I thank god for the path he has choosen me to follow. He knows me best. He knows what I need. How I feel. From time to time, I wished to bring it out n explain to u but I know it won't change anything cuz u are what u are & I m who I am. Neither any of us would change for anyone.

I don't want anything, I want the truth, no more fakeness.


Monday, July 02, 2007
Another yr..
11:16 PM

It's another yr older for both of us this week. Once again, I'm gonna go through that painful process of memories flashing by my mind which would cause my heart to ache, my eyes to wet and mood swing. It has almost been three yrs since then yet I can't just leave it behind me and not recall it again. Get hurt and sad over & over again. I have go on with my life, but never could I step ahead and get rid of those dark memories that follows me in my nightmares. I woke up & rmb our last conversation 3 yrs ago. 5 of July, the day u was born meant to be someone significant to me. I was born a day later & fated to be always the one at the back of u. U walked away w/o turning back 3 yrs ago, I hope would there be a day I could walk out of my locked heart and get free from all bad memories and mental struggle I face.

Birthday should be an enjoyable day for most of us, but why ain't I happy and excited at this moment in time? Im juz so busy. I don't have sufficient time for everything. Even celebration is impossible I guess. Everyone is busy with their ief report tt is due on my birthday and Im busy with all my studies too. haiz... Im so afraid tt I might not be able to catch up with my French. It's tough! haiz...


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